The Christmas Letter

You know those cheery Christmas letters (CL) you receive in the mail each year? I actually received less this year than normal.

The ones I did receive did have their usual, to be expected highlights. For example, I have been following with interest the news each year of a former college roommate's children's struggle with peanut allergies. Year 1 of the discovery they gave away their cats while trying to get to the bottom of the trouble. The next year found them ripping up their carpets and putting in hardwood floors. Year 3 they moved out of the allergy prone house. Year 6 finds them (with a dog in the photo) attending a national peanut allergy convention in Washington D.C. this spring... you get (long pause) the picture.

One CL is a pictograph of all the events one family has attended in the calendar year. Including 25 miniscule photos of said family with virtual strangers - they do include a key so you can keep up and try to guess who is who in said photo.

A friend at church launched into her CL with an entire paragraph filled with a detailed account of every GI bug her side of the family had, a cousin's illness and a remembrance of a death 11 years before and ended the paragraph with parentheses stating (enough heavy stuff). I'm glad she realized it too.

An extremely quiet and unassuming niece surprised everyone with the CL bombshell that she eloped to Viva Las Vegas. Now that is some NEWS! Best ever read in a CL and her mom included emails for everyone in the family -which I found very helpful. I can email quiet niece and exclaim my good wishes to the happy bride and groom.

Joking aside - the CLs are always welcome - I'm glad to be on the list and get the unabridged version of the modern day town crier. I got my cards out so late this year - I changed the photo card to one bearing a Happy New Year message. I didn't have any returned either and patted myself on the back until I realized that oh yeah, I didn't have time to put my return address on them.

Tonight I returned home after a festive New Year's Eve dinner with my mom and daughter and was tickled to notice a handwritten letter addressed to me (that always means - NO BILLS!).

I didn't recognize the return address. I opened the letter and a slim newspaper clipping slipped out. The letter started out as an introduction from the sister-in-law of an older couple I always send a Christmas card to... .

It seems this couple, who really stood by me during my parents lengthy separation and divorce, did not receive my card this year. Vera is in an Alzheimer's unit in Florida and Gil died seemingly of a broken heart six months later after she could no longer remember him. Some sad news to reflect on this New Year's Eve and the regret that I didn't stand by them and keep in better touch when they may have needed me the most. They forever touched my life that's for sure and I hope I stressed to both of them they had done that for me.

And their seemingly duel passing has touched me as well - thank God I will forever be the hopeless romantic who still hopes I will find a man that loves me that much who can no longer bear to live when my memory fails me.

These Christmas letters bring the moments that are important in people's lives - and why shouldn't they be able to brag about being successful as a family, a new union, pet or grandchild, European travels, raise health concerns, reflect on fun places visited in the past year and most importantly, deliver a simple message in a white envelope of that special kind of love that we all seek.

Things to Do in 2008

A new year has arrived and so much to do...no resolutions for me, but instead lofty goals worth giving serious thought to... .

1. Take more walks.
2. Listen more.
3. Talk less.
4. Set aside five minutes every day to be quiet and still.
5. Read.
6. Cook a new recipe.
7. Learn a new stitch (knitting).
8. Write a real letter.
9. Slow down.
10. Pray for what I really want out of life.

2008 is going to be great!

Someone to Watch Over Me

I was recently questioned by X (ex-husband to those who do not know) as to if I was seeing anyone. After insisting numerous times that it was none of his business, I broke down and told him yes. I was seeing someone. That simple answer shut him up. He seemed satisfied and hopefully he will leave the topic alone.

... What I failed to tell him that the man in my life is Orion the constellation of the nighttime winter sky whom I make direct eye contact with every night while walking Heidi. The three stars in his belt are a constant reminder of what his strengths are to me. Every night it's easy to find him. He's always there unless the clouds get in the way. Strangely, I find his presence comforting. From my front doorstep and my Eastward facing car window I can always find him up there in the sky waiting for me to notice him.

Calmly watching over me - it gives me pause and quiet reflection. After the latest admonissions from X. A very good friend told me she was going to pray for a strong and protective man to come into my life and make me feel safe. Kind of sounds like Orion.

I told her to please add to the list of attributes kind and financially stable. But for now Orion can be my main man. Tall, quiet, strong, safe and always there watching over me.

Discovering A Different Kind of Soul Mate

A soul mate sometimes enters our life as someone to stir us up ... To hold up the mirror so that we can see ourselves more clearly and antagonize us and make us so uncomfortable that we have to change because we can't continue to look at the same thing because we're looking at it clearly now." "The encounter is so intense and so clarifying that we burn through those things quickly."

-- Richard from Texas

Eat, Pray, Love

Michigan State Study: Divorce Isn't Eco-Friendly

Give me a break - to add to the pain and guilt of divorce - now I have to worry my divorce causing causing more than my unfair share of my ecological footprint. I read this recent study in Monday's Washington Post: "Divorce Isn't Eco-Friendly" and felt even more of the literal weight of the world shift on my tired and sore shoulders. The article has its merits and it's facts ring true, but picking on the divorced is laughable in this instance.

After all, the unmarried single women have had enough dumped on them over the past four decades Why don't they go ahead and praise the unmarried single men still living at home in their parents basement for saving the earth. White men would rejoice everywhere and the Republicans could use them as their poster boys on the global warming stage (even though its not happening). They could even trot them out on the Convention floor and allow them to tell their story with their photos projected on the big screen and a patriotic balloon drop in their honor.

Go ahead, pick on the divorced, to hear the experts tell it we are also contributing to the juvenile delinquency rate and the Christian conservatives label us as single moms like we are akin to road whores. As a divorcee does everything have to be blamed on me? I'm wondering if I'm off the hook now. Does that theory change when when one of the spouses remarry, because my ex-husband remarried last May and combined a household of 6 people - so that must mean for the past 7 months - I will take none of the blame this study places on me. They can take that to the dump along with the scarlet letter I removed from my right shoulder. Or maybe I should just recycle it.