Home Improvement

I began tackling another room makeover project - with great intentions I selected paint colors and began shopping for new fabrics to redo my bedroom. With a Saturday free, I made the hasty decision to remove the wallpaper in the master bath and paint the bathroom first. I thought it should only take what an afternoon?

I peeled wallpaper for 10 hours over the past weekend. The wallpaper is winning - half of it is still up on the walls, my back is shot and my fingernails still have sticky paste lodged underneath. That's what I get for thinking I would tackle the easiest job first. My oversized master bedroom would be painted by now.

It's amazing the inner dialog you carry on with yourself as you spend that many hours in one of the most utilized rooms of your home. I listened to music. Sang old songs to myself. Thanked myself for thanking myself and talked to the putty knife and magic wallpaper scrapper more times than I care to admit.

Earlier in this online journal I reflected on a lot of self-discovery in Putting on the Primer where I worked on a similar wallpaper removal project in my kitchen. I finished that project that had two stubborn layers of wallpaper (they were much easier) so I know I can do this. I couldn't help but remember the self-reflection that came with that project. This one is no different. So much has happened on my personal journey since then...

While I stripped wallpaper of less than a half inch in length from the wall - I grew frustrated about how long it was taking me - I had given up my weekend for this?!? As I sprayed and sprayed the solution on the wall and scrapped and scrapped I related this act to how long it takes to peel back any layers and see what's underneath. And when you do peel back one layer - sometimes you are only scratching the surface.

Recently, I stumbled upon a peaceful place in my post-divorce life. Days have passed when I don't think about attorney's, court or even attorney's fees. The familiar feeling I have walked around with like air has been let out of a balloon has momentarily left me. Am I finally getting over this?

The spring air has brought me back to the night four years ago when I didn't sleep and knew that when I left my home the next morning it would tragically be my last night there in the home & life that I cherished and loved.

In my conversation with self - I have pondered why I took this route and didn't do the easiest room first. I certainly didn't follow the path of least resistance. Sometimes that's a hard road NOT to take. I tried that in my marriage and it backfired on me.

I have slowly and steadily worked to refortify the foundation that crumbled underneath me. I'm still building and reconstructing - that foundation that I'm now responsible for will remain a work in progress - because I have learned that nothing, not even the colors of the walls, stays the same.