I usually cringe when I see the headlines about single moms and then read the statistics that are surely to follow:
"79% of custodial single mothers are gainfully employed ... In 1995, nearly six of 10 children living with mothers only were near the ... 63% of suicides are individuals from single parent families ... ... living in single parent homes, the marital status of the ..."
It's like taking a blow - that the downfall of society are on our busy single shoulders. It's hard enough not having a dependable partner to raise a child with - then to have society blame all the ills of it on us.
I write about this a lot because it's something that really bothers me ... being called a single-mom. Can I not just be labeled a mom and be done with it? It doesn't just bother me - it chafes my psyche. Like it's a putdown. Like we use it as crutch. Guess what? We don't. Because we don't have time - we are too tired to do that. I'm a little bit shocked they don't have a single mom section in the card aisle at Hallmark for Mother's Day. Personally if I received one - I would want to jump off a bridge.
I don't want to be pitied, taken for granted, treated differently, be told we are being prayed for or used as a scapegoat in the headlines. I like to think that I'm raising my daughter exactly as if she would be raised if she lived in a two parent household - in fact, I would like to think I'm raising her better and stronger.
Someone asked me once if I had a chip on my shoulder about it - I could honestly answer "Yes I do" - I am inwardly envious and resentful of everyone with a great partner whose an even better father. I get frustrated for having to go through everything alone - it's hard to have no one to run to the grocery store for you when you have a sick child and you have to leave them alone. Harder still when you are sick and have to run to the store for yourself. So yes, eight years in to parenting alone... the chip has grown huge.
When I see posts on Facebook by friends that claim single parent status if their spouse is out of town for the weekend - I want to comment that it doesn't even come close unless they have suddenly removed money from the bank account or the phone isn't ringing with a caring spouse checking in.
Reading this is sounds so bitter ... but I'm really really not. I just don't want to be called a single mom. Some of the greatest women I know are single moms... my best friend Tiffany and my cousin Dana. I'm grateful to them because they understand how hard it is and share the same - do whatever it takes attitude to give our kids a normal life.
I wish I knew why it bothered me so much - because maybe I don't want to be a single mom raising my daughter alone and the mere label reminds me of how single I really am.
"79% of custodial single mothers are gainfully employed ... In 1995, nearly six of 10 children living with mothers only were near the ... 63% of suicides are individuals from single parent families ... ... living in single parent homes, the marital status of the ..."
It's like taking a blow - that the downfall of society are on our busy single shoulders. It's hard enough not having a dependable partner to raise a child with - then to have society blame all the ills of it on us.
I write about this a lot because it's something that really bothers me ... being called a single-mom. Can I not just be labeled a mom and be done with it? It doesn't just bother me - it chafes my psyche. Like it's a putdown. Like we use it as crutch. Guess what? We don't. Because we don't have time - we are too tired to do that. I'm a little bit shocked they don't have a single mom section in the card aisle at Hallmark for Mother's Day. Personally if I received one - I would want to jump off a bridge.
I don't want to be pitied, taken for granted, treated differently, be told we are being prayed for or used as a scapegoat in the headlines. I like to think that I'm raising my daughter exactly as if she would be raised if she lived in a two parent household - in fact, I would like to think I'm raising her better and stronger.
Someone asked me once if I had a chip on my shoulder about it - I could honestly answer "Yes I do" - I am inwardly envious and resentful of everyone with a great partner whose an even better father. I get frustrated for having to go through everything alone - it's hard to have no one to run to the grocery store for you when you have a sick child and you have to leave them alone. Harder still when you are sick and have to run to the store for yourself. So yes, eight years in to parenting alone... the chip has grown huge.
When I see posts on Facebook by friends that claim single parent status if their spouse is out of town for the weekend - I want to comment that it doesn't even come close unless they have suddenly removed money from the bank account or the phone isn't ringing with a caring spouse checking in.
Reading this is sounds so bitter ... but I'm really really not. I just don't want to be called a single mom. Some of the greatest women I know are single moms... my best friend Tiffany and my cousin Dana. I'm grateful to them because they understand how hard it is and share the same - do whatever it takes attitude to give our kids a normal life.
I wish I knew why it bothered me so much - because maybe I don't want to be a single mom raising my daughter alone and the mere label reminds me of how single I really am.
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